Lately it feels like the source to a lot of frustration has been from one thing: myself. No, I’m not saying that I’m a despicable human being or that I should go throw myself a pity party, I’m saying that there’s one thing holding me back. One thing keeping me from being all I’m supposed to be. And sadly it’s not some Hulkish monster with 58 eyes and arms the size of a bus—it’s me.

And not just that, it’s how much I fear well, fear. I’m too afraid to go after something, put my heart on the line, take the risk. Because I, like many others, don’t like being afraid. At all. More than anything I hate letting myself become so vulnerable that I let others determine my happiness. And truly, those two things shouldn’t even correlate to each other! I should have the ability to be open or “vulnerable” while still holding my happiness by deciding for myself  to be happy.

But I’m so afraid of heartbreak that I run into an even bigger problem: regret. I try SO hard to avoid getting hurt in opportunities I’m given that I become filled with regret by staying where I am. I get so attached to the idea of comfort that I don’t wanna risk it for an even more perfect thing! 

People tend to think that they can find their life by finding someplace where they’re COMFORTABLE. And it’s okay to want comfort, but life is for LIVING not for standing still! We let our comfort take over so much that we’re not willing to let go. And I’ve started to see that by letting go, I’m given something even better. But. I can’t take hold of something beautiful if my hands are still full of all the comforting junk.

It’s funny how desperate I’ve become for something new. I’m anxious to be 18 in a few weeks, anxious to finally start college, anxious to find new passions, new friends, new places. And I’ve been so obsessed with this idea of something new that I think the only way I can break free is to change places or schools or towns. And I focused SO much on wanting a new chapter of life that I was completely oblivious to the truth: THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHANGE WHERE MY LIFE GOES IS MYSELF. The only person that can break me out of the comfort zone and find something new is myself! If I would just take the risk of stepping out of my “norm” then I could find something exciting anywhere!

So Lindsay. If you’re reading this, stop complaining about feeling stuck in the same place. Stop convincing yourself that you’re trapped. The only thing trapping you is your mentality. Go live! Go meet new people, go be spontaneous, go make someone happy, go explore every inch, and above all DON’T worry about what others think. Well I mean, obviously you need to listen to people, they’re trying to help you and you want to help them. But BE YOU, and BE HAPPY without letting others get between you and your happiness. Live without regret! And always always smile :)

<3 Lindsay

Yeah. I’ve been feeling this one a lot lately. These past two weeks and honestly, the past few months, I’ve been so physically, mentally, and emotionally EXHAUSTED. I’ve felt like my life and all I am has slowly drained from me, leaving me unmotivated and careless.

But I’m convinced it’s all for the best.

Just as with challenges, exhaustion forces you to let go of the unnecessary burdens and reach for a change—a new chapter for your life. As I said in an earlier blog post, change sure can be hard and even frustrating, but I promise you it’s all worth it. See, life isn’t static. Life isn’t supposed to be the same from one year to the next; instead, it’s supposed to allow you to grow and develop and well, live.

Have you ever noticed in books that the beginning of one chapter rarely explains the transition of everything that happened right after the ending of the previous chapter? Yeah, that’s cuz it’s awkward. Change is awkward. It’s picking you up from one comfort zone, and pushing you in a new direction until you find another “temporary home” to stay for a while, and then the pattern repeats. You need to know, every transition will most likely feel like aimless wandering for awhile. It will make you doubt who you are, where you’re going, and if it’s even the right place. But you need it, because how would you ever develop what YOUR specific purpose is without challenging yourself and your direction?

After a long talk with my wonderful mom, she simply put it like this: “Sometimes you’re going to be distanced from those who you are closest to so that YOU can mold your life instead of being influenced solely by those who are around you. Sometimes you’ll need the distance and the exhaustion to find what parts of your life are supposed to be part of you and what parts need to be removed.”

If you feel vulnerable, lost even, don’t give up. This isn’t your life, this is the transition right before your next chapter in life. And MAN are there some beautiful things stored in that next chapter, but it doesn’t come without some challenge and change. I encourage you to spend some time YOURSELF to find out who you are, not who others make you. But that doesn’t mean you should feel abandoned, because I promise you that somewhere there is ALWAYS someone who cares for you.

Last, if you find yourself needing someone to talk to or ANYTHING else, you name it, I’m there. :) If you’re interested in reading more about my thoughts on exhaustion, feel free to head on over to my personal blog www.tumblr.com/blog/thrivearrive 

Hope you have a great day! SMILE, you’ll get through it! :)